Dammit.....drama of my life..

It's been 6-7 years since i meet my so called "best friend". Yes everyone had some deep dark secret in their childhood they try to burn away and leave it aside. Well, i managed to do that. I packed up my life in primary school and started anew. Then here comes a long time best friend whom i trusted...TRUSTED suddenly open up the box that he has put a lid on for years. Primary school grudges indeed.

I don't know what is his intentions but i think it's evil. He says i ruined his life, but i think he knows very well he's trying to ruin mine. With o levels so close, i can almost taste it, he wants to break me down. Well, i did.... for a day. Last night i cried myself like a wounded animal, to sleep. It was no funny matter it was really downright depressing. I had always thought we were childhood friends...for better or for worst. I thought that those problems were mildly childhood problems. But i guess what seems to be may not be.

I feel like i'm in a badly written korean drama. now he wants me to stand by the phone and wait for him to call. Like fuck i will. I rather he leave a messege via sms or on an answering machine. I refuse to hear his voice and i guess vice versa for him. I have nothing left to say to him. He does not deserve to be on my friendster list and neither on my msn contact list. I blocked both. All he needs to do is tell me when and i will not see him again for the rest of my life.

He managed to take a day of my study time, but hopefully that's it. I've seeked help with closer friends, whom i trusted more and they have comforted me about this little backlash in my life. It's something i have to deal with. The thing is, all the childhood issues he brought up, i can barely remember any of it. That's what make me feel all crap. But i guess that's life eh? Anyway, i guess it's not everyone that suffers such shit before a massive exam.

Now i've turned that depression and anxiety into downright anger. If that is his main revenge scheme to destroy me, fine. IT will never work. I will push myself to crush this damned obstacle. IT will be just a minor irritant in life.

Well, if it so one day that he comes to look for a job and i'm on the chair infront of him, i won't have anything to say to him except for 3 words. "Just Get Out!", now i understand the dream i had many many years ago. Where i dreamt i was behind my mum's desk and someone familiar is infront of me looking for a job. I've been thinking who it could have possibly been, but now i think i know.

With that, here starts a new day, i'm going to try and be happy and for get all of the nonsense that occured the night before. It's all just retarded.