Monday, February 4, 2008

Take it all in...

Okay, my life is kinda screwed atm. Sigh. Chinese new year is coming and it won't be a happy one for me. My mum and dad had a short fight. With the end result of my dad not wanting to go for the family reunion at malaysia. So no malaysia for me. Well unless some good news came up. IF there is a better time to reflect on life this is it.

That put aside, today at work i had a little talk again with my boss. To put it simply, i grew another 5 years older in less than an hour. Well, basically if you didn't know me that well yet, i had been the leader of an open source emulator project, a fairly big one that was getting hits like 100, 000 to 300 000 a day, for about half a year and experience from that made me grow older by 20 years. but that is a recount for another time. (for further reading: About Me Entry From Eathena's Wikipedia )

So, well, yeah, i got a bit of reality slapping from my boss. Simply stated, I was not detailed in my job and that I had not noticed this during the probation period my boss gave me, needs to crush that idea that i can give people how to improve, That and i am fickle minded, I let my emotions get the better of me and it affect how i work, thus opening it as an opportunity for people to use it against me. Well that seemed to be a lot of slaps in just 40 mins. Well yes it is. Thankfully i still have my job and i walk away just with minor stiches. Interestingly i didn't feel that i got punched in the face repeatedly. At moments it felt that the temperature in the room rose 200 degrees, then moments later when i took a deep breath and let it all in, the temperature fell faster than it rose.

I expected i would still be reeling when i type this, but surprisingly im not. Now is the time to do some soul searching and to fix all these weaknesses.

I think i'll end off with a short happy saying to brighten the mood since i still technically am feeling like crap from all these happening on the same day,
"Life is a journey which we will not see the end."-Hariz.

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